Friday, March 03, 2006

HOLY COW!!

I just Googled the drug that the doctor prescribed me for my newly acquired high blood pressure--read these side effects!

More common side effects may include:
Abnormally slow heartbeat (more common with Cardizem SR and Cardizem CD), dizziness, fluid retention, flushing (more common with Cardizem SR and Cardizem CD), headache, nausea, rash, weakness

Less common or rare side effects may include:
Abnormal dreams, allergic reaction, altered way of walking, amnesia, anemia, angina (severe chest pain), blood disorders, congestive heart failure, constipation, cough, depression, diarrhea, difficulty sleeping, drowsiness, dry mouth, excessive urination at night, eye irritation, fainting, flu symptoms, hair loss, hallucinations, heart attack, high blood sugar, hives, impotence, increased output of pale urine, indigestion, infection, irregular heartbeat, itching, joint pain, labored breathing, loss of appetite, low blood pressure, low blood sugar, muscle cramps, nasal congestion or inflammation, nervousness, nosebleed, pain, personality change, pounding heartbeat, rapid heartbeat, reddish or purplish spots on skin, ringing in ears, sexual difficulties, skin inflammation/flaking or peeling, sensitivity to light, sleepiness, sore throat, taste alteration, thirst, tingling or pins and needles, tremor, vision changes, vomiting, welts, weight increase

You have to read the less common ones--Is there anything this drug DOESN'T cause??
Abnormal dreams? I already have those!
Altered way of walking? Will it be a silly walk, I wonder?
Increased output of pale urine??
Personality change--can't wait for that one!
Loss of appetite AND weight increase?
Low blood sugar AND high blood sugar!
Difficulty sleeping AND Sleepiness!
Won't I look great with purple spots, welts and a nosebleed?
And let's not forget my personal favorite--Amnesia! If I don't get this one I'm going to pretend I have it anyway. I'm going to act just like Lucy Ricardo when she had the gobloots! "Who am I? Where am I? What am I?"

How many years did the scientists have to labor to cram all that into one little pill? Amazing! I'm going to run not walk to the pharmacy right now!

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