Hooked on Fake Knitting

I do not know how to knit. My grandma taught me how to crochet when I was a girl, and that makes me a crocheter. I have tried to learn how to knit on a few occasions, but I just can't get the hang of it. Recently though, I found this thing called a hat loom. This loom enables you to "knit" a hat without actually learning how to knit. Well, this has opened up a whole new world to me, I am not only a crocheter anymore, I can "knit"! This is the equivalent of heating up a Mrs. Smith's pie and proclaiming to be a baker. But I don't care! Armed with my new "skill", I am making beanies left and right, equipping my family to withstand the ravages of the harsh Monterey winter! Really, that's not true for two reasons: a) Monterey's winters are anything but harsh, and b) my boys refuse to wear the butt-ugly hats I am churning out. But I remain undaunted! Next year, when we move to Spokane, and I get stuck in a snowdrift, I will be easily spotted in my lifesaving neon rainbow beanie!